Stories of an 8-Week Journey into Wakefulness
When the time is right, everyone has a story to tell, which is just what we do on the first night of this world-renowned 8 week Stress Reduction Course. We learn what has brought each of us here. For some its the story of life with serious illness. For others its the stress of living by the clock in a culture that believes Hurry Sickness is the norm.
Welcome to the oldest, hospital-based Stress Reduction Course in the country. As the Course Facilitator, I am a Registered Nurse recovered from breast cancer, 3 major abdominal surgeries and living with the daily challenges of Lupus. Its my job and aspiration to listen deeply as we throughout this work. Clearly, I need to practice what I facilitate. I must also stand in the truth of my own humanity recognizing that living mindfully is a lifetime's work.
Over the course of the next eight weeks, we come to acknowledge that sickness and stress are deep suffering and that there are many tools and inner resources we can utilize to lead happier, healthier lives. Tonight is just the beginning. The ride is new for each of us and may even hold surprises for you, the reader, as self-discoveries evolve.
When we have "hurry sickness," miss our exit on the freeway because our mind is on auto pilot, don’t hear what our child is saying when we tuck her in at night because our mind is already at the office, we are missing our own lives unfolding. This lack of grounding in the present moment causes stress in the sense that we never feel we are close enough to shore to put our feet down where we are. How long can we tread water?
Stress not only contributes to many diseases, it also makes it more difficult for us to be fully engaged is this one shot we have at our precious life. Lets take a closer look at how our 15 participants journeyed through the course and you may recognize moments where your own stress pulls you out of the present.
We begin the class with the fact that out of our 24-hour day, close to zero minutes are spent on mental hygiene and reducing our stress. We spend time working, taking care of the material world, eating, bathing, dressing, etc. Meanwhile, the mind is busy 24-7. It doesn’t even stop when we sleep. When does it rest? When do we allow ourselves to be human be-ings instead of human do-ings? No wonder we eventually develop stress, illness and unhappiness.
During this revolutionary course, everyone knew ahead of time that they would spend 6 days a week doing guided, mindful meditations on CDs at home. In addition, each week we met, we practiced yoga and other relaxation arts. We also spoke about how our practice was affecting our lives outside of the course. The course is a challenge.
In the early stages people are astounded at just how busy their minds are:
• Sue (not real names) says she cannot be still for a moment. She finds it scary to be alone with her own breath. She prefers to be distracted even though she is tired and longing for peace of mind.
• Linda has chronic pain that dogs her constantly. She is discouraged, worried about living this way. She is frequently depressed and fatigued. She is having side-effects from a high level of pain medication.
• Peter says his job is killing him. He resorts to alcohol and destructive behaviors to cope. His relationships are suffering. These are serious threats to his heart disease.
Everyone in the class has challenges as we report to one another on the first leg of this journey.
At the end of each class, we leave with home work instructions for the week. During the first week we practice a meditation called the Body Scan at least 6 times. We try to eat at least one meal with more awareness and be more tuned in to weather changes.
When we talk about how our week of practice at home was, unfailingly everyone comments about how busy their mind is and how often we have to bring ourselves back to the meditation. It is reassuring to discover that this is the norm. Everyone has “tourist mind,” as my Tibetan meditation teacher calls it.
Many participants are also saying that they can’t meditate. They have come here to learn what meditation really is: PAYING CARING ATTENTION TO WHATEVER IS ARISING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT, WITHOUT JUDGMENT, AND ALLOWING IT TO COME AND GO AS YOU ANCHOR YOURSELF WITH A FOCUS SUCH AS THE BREATH. Slowly, the mind settles of its own accord. We discover that just as we naturally let go to fall asleep, that we can learn to let go and fall into wakefulness. Sitting without judgment is not so easy to do, it takes time to let go of our habitual views. However, we spend time discussing and discovering the fact that everyone can meditate.
During the 3rd week we find that we can drop below the surface of this busy ocean-like mind and let waves of thought crash over head while we rest below. John, in remission from prostate cancer says, “I’ve had some new and very relaxed moments during the meditations.” Without realizing it, he makes my day.
In the following weeks, confidence grows as people overcome obstacles to making time for themselves. Someone tells a story of waiting in line at a store and just relaxing by following their breath. This is a relief because he reports usually getting angry when he has to wait. Another participant talks about a walk on the beach and being fully present for the wind in their face and the color of the sunset on the water.
Ah... the bloom of the present moment is unfolding for some. Others are struggling. The journey comes together for some nearer the end of the course. For everyone, planted seeds will sprout when the causes and conditions are right.
At the end of week six we have an all-day silent retreat. Hard to believe. Of course it is not totally silent. They are led through the meditations we have been practicing: the body scan, yoga, sitting and walking meditation... by the course facilitator. There are also powerful stories to listen to and poetry that goes to the core. They refrain from speaking or having eye contact all day (six hours), including lunch.
We remove all props so that we can dedicate an entire day to the present without distractions. For some it is a tough day and for all, there are tough moments. There are also numerous reports of peace, relaxations and new insights. People delight in gazing at the sky and enjoying the lovely grounds of Shimmering Pines Retreat. No doubt... we are slowing down and getting in the groove.
By week 8 we are sitting in silence “like mountains.” The internal weather of worry, hurry, pain, boredom, pass by like wind and rain, but the mountains sit. People are learning the most fundamental facts of all. Thoughts arise and dissolve in the mind just like the waves on the ocean. If we let them come and go when we are meditating (as best we can) then the mind has a chance to settle and rest a little. It is the grasping onto our habitual and negative thoughts that brings us stress and suffering. And when we cannot let go, we learn the skill of letting things be.
With time and practice, the art and skill of relaxing improves. The room radiates with stillness and a new-found dignity of being more in the present moment. Also, bodies are stronger and more relaxed from weekly Yoga.
At week 8, we can sense a shift in our perceptions. The journey of Mindfulness we are sharing is like waking from a dream. It is only when we find the tools to wake up into our lives that we are able to be more caring. We cultivate compassion for ourselves, learn to make healthier choices perhaps. We discover that we can have some control in our lives.
It is also true that only as our self-compassion grows, can we learn to care for others. Every human being wants the same things: peace of mind and kindness from others. No wonder people report improved relationships.
So how does this story end? Is Mindfulness about curing people? Do they still have serious illness? Are young mothers still too busy? Yes, of course, our challenges don’t go away. However, people consistently report a reduction in pain, anxiety, depression and find their lives more workable.
Mindfulness is more about healing instead of curing. Healing means to find our wholeness behind what is broken on the surface. Meditation allows us to be still enough to tap into the many inner resources that we have and to discover that there IS more right with us than wrong with us... ALL of us! It allows us to notice a beautiful day, be loving and present with our spouse over a cup of coffee, really taste and savor the food on our plate.
We are also more aware of our mental diet. Do we have a diet of generally relaxed and happy thoughts or do we tend to feed more on worry or anger? When we are upset do we tend to water the seeds of suffering as Tich Nat Hahn (Zen monk and Nobel Peace Prize recipient ) says. In other words, do we choose overeating or alcohol when stressed. Or increase our suffering with anger towards others? Big realizations! Learning to let the mind settle in meditation gives new vistas.
The 8 weeks have passed quickly. We speak of not being sad at our closure. The 8th week of the course is the rest of our lives. It is time to go out and make the course work our own. We take a moment to honor everyone's courage in taking the course and for their hard work. This is a rare gift they have given themselves. It is also a rare and precious gift for the facilitator. We ask nothing of the participants that we ourselves are not doing throughout the course.
All alumni are invited to return to each all day-session free of charge. (The next all-day session will be February 14th, 2008)
We close final moments in our circle, as always, with the ringing of the gong and tonight with a reading from Little Gidding by T.S. Elliot.
“We shall not cease from exploration
and at the end of our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the very first time.”
—Mimi Bailey, RN, B.S. Ed
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction | 8 Week Outline | Why Stress Reduction
Stories of an 8-Week Journey into Wakefulness | How to Enroll