Stories of an 8-Week Journey in Mindful Living
When the time is right, everyone has a story to tell, which is just what we do on the first night of the course in Mindful Living. We learn what has brought each of us to the group. For some its the story of life with serious illness while for others it is the challenge of being the caregiver. There are people who may be recovering from grief or simply wanting to learn to work with life's many stressors. Rich in diversity, we quickly become a community as everyone listens deeply to the stories of what brought us together.
As a practitioner of mindfulness, I also come with a story. I have known the road of breast cancer, three major abdominal surgeries and life with the daily challenges of autoimmune disease. Embracing a path with heart, Mindfulness has been the vehicle for me to live my life more fully and to tap into many inner resources that we all possess.
Over eight weeks, we come to acknowledge that life's many challenges can bring deep suffering and that there are ways to lead happier, healthier lives. The following description, taken from an actual 8 week course will give you an insiders view. Each class is unique, always new for each of us, and may even hold surprises for you, the reader, as we take a closer look at how 18 participants journeyed through the program. Perhaps you will identify with moments where your own stress pulls you off center.
We begin the class with the fact that out of our 24-hour day, very little time is spent on mental health by reducing our stress. We spend time working, caring for others and taking care of the material world. Meanwhile, the mind is busy 24-7. It doesn’t even stop when we sleep. When do we have even a few moments of tranquility and peace? No wonder we eventually develop stress, illness and unhappiness.
Everyone knew in advance that they would spend 6 days a week doing guided, mindful meditations on CDs at home. In addition, each week we met, we practiced yoga and other relaxation arts. We also spoke about how our practice was affecting our lives outside of the course.
In the early stages people are astounded at just how busy their minds are:
• Sue (not real names) says she cannot be still for a moment. She finds it scary to be alone with her own breath. She prefers to be distracted even though she is tired and longing for peace of mind.
• Linda has chronic pain that is with her most of the time. She is discouraged, worried about living this way. She is frequently depressed and fatigued. She is having side-effects from a high level of pain medication.
• Peter says his job is killing him. He resorts to alcohol and destructive behaviors to cope. His relationships are suffering. These are serious threats to his heart disease.
Everyone in the class has challenges as we share with one another ( to whatever degree each person is comfortable with) on the first leg of this journey.
At the end of each class, we leave with home work instructions for the week. During the first week at home we practice a meditation called 'Focus on the Breath' at least 6 times at home. It is a guide to deep relaxation.
Over time, some find that they can drop below the surface of this busy ocean-like mind and let waves of thought crash over head while resting below. John, in remission from prostate cancer says, “I’ve had some new and very relaxed moments during the meditations.”
Others also begin to share their discoveries. Someone tells a story of waiting in line at a store and just relaxing by following their breath. This is big for him because he reports usually getting angry when he has to wait. Another participant talks about a walk on the beach and being fully present for the wind in her face and awareness of the color of the sunset on the water.
Ah... the bloom of the present moment is unfolding for some. Others are struggling. The journey comes together for some nearer the end of the course. For everyone, planted seeds will sprout when the causes and conditions are right.
At the end of week six we have an all-day silent retreat. Hard to believe that we have come from rare moments of peace and quiet to holding the silence for 6 hours. Of course it is not totally silent. Everyone is led through the meditations we have been practicing: the body scan, yoga, sitting and walking meditation - by the course facilitators . There are also powerful stories to listen to, poetry that goes to the core, and spontaneous art work to explore.
We remove all props so that we can dedicate an entire day to the present without distractions. For some it is a tough day and for all, there are tough moments. There are also reports of peace, relaxations and new insights. People delight in gazing at the sky and enjoying the lovely grounds of Shimmering Pines Retreat. No doubt... we are slowing down and getting in the groove.
By week 8 we are sitting in silence like" mountains.” The internal weather of worry, hurry, pain, boredom, pass by like wind and rain, but the mountains sit. People are learning the most fundamental fact of all. Thoughts can arise and dissolve in the mind without pulling us off center. If we let them come and go when we are meditating (as best we can) then the mind has a chance to settle and rest. It is the grasping onto our habitual and negative thoughts that brings us stress and suffering.
With time and practice, the art and skill of relaxing improves. The room radiates with the stillness and the dignity of being more in the present moment. Also, mind and body are more in sync from the delicious yoga. People report greater confidence in their bodies with new found strength and balance.
By week eight, we sense the changes in our perceptions. The journey of Mindfulness we are sharing is like waking from a dream. It is when we find the tools to wake up into our lives that we are able to be more caring. We cultivate more compassion for ourselves . We also discover that we can have some control in our lives...to move in a direction of our own choosing, perhaps.
It is also true that only as our self-compassion grows, can we learn to care for others. Every human being wants the same things: peace of mind and kindness from others. No wonder people report improved relationships.
So how does this story end? Is Mindfulness about curing people? Do they still have serious illness? Are young mothers still too busy? Yes, of course, our challenges don’t go away. However, people consistently report a reduction in pain, anxiety, depression and find their lives more workable as they learn to shift their perceptions.
Mindfulness is more about healing instead of curing. Healing means to find our wholeness behind what appears broken on the surface. Meditation allows us to tap into the many inner resources that we have and to discover that there is more right with us than wrong with us... ALL of us! It allows us to notice a beautiful day...to have gratitude. It also gives us clarity and strength in the difficult moments.
Our time together has passed quickly. We speak of not being sad at our closure. The 8th week of the course is the rest of our lives. It is time to go out and make this work our own. We take a moment to honor everyone's courage in taking the course and for their hard work. This is a rare gift they have given themselves. It is also a rare and precious gift for the facilitators. We ask nothing of the participants that we ourselves are not practicing.
All alumni are invited to return to each all day-session. (The next all-day session will be March 10, 2012.
We close final moments in our circle, as always, with the ringing of the singing bowl and tonight with a reading from Little Gidding by T.S. Elliot.
“We shall not cease from exploration
and at the end of our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and know the place for the very first time.”